"Small Groups" vs The Family

"The best way to learn God's Word is through small groups"

"If kids are asking questions then they are learning"

"We need each other to properly grow in our faith"

"We were made to live in community"

I kept hearing these statements from the leadership of our church. As Sunday School teachers to teenagers, we were being told by the staff something new. That the best way for young people learn and get close to God is through intimate, close relationships with us and other kids. We began to be skeptical but went along and gave them the benefit of a doubt saying, "well, okay I guess". But as time went by the push for relationships got more intense and louder from the staff. Finally small group time replaced Bible teaching. So, we expressed our concerns and objections (in love) then left. Our objections fell on deaf ears.

Today in many churches that have fallen for modern day trends of church growth, the family worshipping together is almost extinct. Families that sit together in a church service are instantly noticed and seen as odd and unusual. A father who requires his teenagers to sit with him and their mother in the pew is almost unheard of.

I remember a previous pastor of ours. He was always thrilled to see families together at church. Families like mine were considered to be an asset to our local church body. But as time went by, with new leadership at the helm, family friendly attitudes began to fade. But small group friendly attitudes began to abound.

I have six children. My brothers and sisters combined with my kids makes up a family of 18 kids. Imagine that, all in the same church. Wow! A church's dream; to have so many young faces brightening up the hallways. You would think. But today, that kind of make up of a family in some churches is actually considered a threat. Especially in the churches that are presently obsessed with the small group paradigm.

In this new paradigm, the group is honored, not the family. Pastors will often make mention of this group or that group and talk about how they pulled together or how they helped the poor. But rarely, if ever, will you hear of a pastor who compliments a family where the mother and father are sacrificing their time, their love, their dreams, their everything for the poor? No, for the homeless? No... BUT FOR THEIR CHILDREN! When was the last time you heard of the church leadership talk about the first small group ordained and established by God, the family?


The visible family unit is being overshadowed by popular philosophies of community and unity which often ignore the strains put upon a family who is trying to go along with a church program that expects their members to join up with a small group to the detriment of Sunday family time (if that even exists anymore).

The family is fighting for its very life in every arena in society. And yes, even in the modern church.

Small groups can be helpful, but let's put the family first. And if small group time interferes with family time, tell small group time to take a hike. You got your small group already, your family!

-KCO